L's Little Secret
by Chance'sLyrics
Summary: My head pounded as I turned my eyes up to the small window that was on the thick white door in my room. The same dark figure stood there at the same time as every other day. My eyes only stayed open for a moment before they fluttered closed.
1. Chapter 1

I sat at my desk, flashes, memories invading my mind in short white bursts of blinding pain. My heart pounding rapidly in my chest as I stared at the white ceiling of the room I had been placed in. A cool breeze from the air conditioning unit blew gently into my face.

Where was the man I saw in my head?

Where was L?

oOo

Quickly, faster, I padded through the halls of the orphanage. Red hair flying around my pale face in a frenzy as I raced to see what had happened. My mind racing faster than ever before, planning one hundred different scenarios all at once; all of which did not end well for me or the boy I was entrusted to protect.

I could feel my breathe escaping my lips in painful gasps, quick and labored. I knew in that moment that I was not meant to do any kind of physical labor, but my pondering was put on hold when I saw three teenagers that were part of the upper class surrounding my young charge.

"Look at what we have here boys." The tall brunette said as he circled the young boy as if he were prey.

"Yeah, Mr. Thinks he's better than us, eh Dark?"

"Yeah, I do think so, what about you Jay?" The brunette asked the quiet raven haired teen, his eyes were closed as if pondering something.

I took this time to interrupt them, "Hey, why don't you three Neanderthals go bully someone else?" My arms crossed in front of my chest as I stared at all of them, my crystal blue eyes never wavering.

They all turned, except the raven, to see who it was speaking to them in such a condescending tone.

"And I thought better of you all." I said as I stalked forward, bending down to the crouching figure that was shaking in the center of the group.

"Sparrow." Jay said, finally opening his eyes. Black, just like the hair that rested in a ponytail at the base of his head.

"Jay, what the hell is this about?" I asked as the boy pushed away from me, falling onto his butt as he did so. Trying to scoot far away from my touch.

"Hey, I won't hurt you. Just let my see if they hurt you at all." I spoke gently, knowing that the messy haired boy was still experiencing the fresh pain of losing his family. I understood that, more so than I would like to admit.

"Don't touch me." He said quietly. I smiled slightly and nodded, knowing that his large grey eyes where staring straight at me.

"Jay, explain yourself. Now."

oOo

My head pounded as I turned my eyes up to the small window that was on the thick white door in my room. The same dark figure stood there at the same time as every other day. My eyes only stayed open for a moment before they fluttered closed.

I had just got done moving from on asylum to the next. I was always moving. Why was I always moving?

**oOo**

**This is, in fact, my first deathnote attempt. So try to bare with me. I will take any suggestions you have about how to make L's character more spot on. And not to worry, this was just an intro, all the other chapters will be longer than this. And if I may, please review. It doesn't take more than a second, and it is the only way I shall improve.**


	2. Chapter 2

After the initial move and recuperation I felt much better. Not to the point that I planned to get up and explore my new 'home' but enough to where I began to let my mind wander to other things. And when I say things, I meant people, and when I meant people I meant L.

oOo

Sparrow lazily skipped rocks against the cement outside of the orphanage as she hummed a lullaby that she faintly remembered her mother singing. The words hadn't stayed with her through time, but the soft flowing notes haunted her like the night itself. She hated that she wasn't strong enough, but she could help the little raven haired boy she had deemed Lollipop because of his fixation with sweets.

Speaking of said boy, she glanced at the widow she knew was his, and then to the church that wasn't all that far from the orphanage. Her eyes closed, she knew that the bells haunted the poor boy. If only she knew why, she had an idea, but knew better than to bring something like that up.

But not one to dwell on things that she considered depressing she went back to her skipping rocks. Her voice carrying the soft tune flawlessly, eyes closing as she sank further into the song.

The young red head had not heard L, Lollipop, sneak up on her in his own musing. Wondering where the noise was coming from and deciding to investigate. She didn't notice as he sank to the ground not even three feet from her position. Nor did she realize that he had closed his large eyes at the relaxing sound and, for once, fell asleep to the soothing sound.

But she did realize when she heard the soft breathing none to far away. She turned her head a bit too quickly, nearly giving herself whiplash, and stumbled ever so slightly. Her crystal colored eyes wide as she saw his sleeping figure. A small smile gracing her lips as she realized that he had fallen asleep to the lullaby she had been humming.

Kneeling next to the small figure she continued softly humming as she lifted the fragile boy into her arms. She hadn't yet determined his age, but knew that he was much too small for his age, at least weight wise. His height was average.

The young boy shifted just a bit and nuzzled into her chest, something that he never would have done had he been awake, and due to the abnormal nature of this gesture she hesitated for half a step, before resuming. Taking the small boy into his room and laying him on the bed that looked as though it had yet to be slept in.

She smiled at him in a motherly fashion and left the room. Closing the door quietly behind her, the hum of his computer keeping him asleep for now at least.

Without turning around the young fifteen year old red head began walking the way she came only to run into, "Mr. Whammy!" The young girl exclaimed as she threw her arms around the elderly man. Her lips pulled back in a wide smile as she held onto him, looking up with bright eyes, "What brings you to this part of the orphanage?" she asked genuinely curious about why the man that all the children loved was here.

"I came to check on L. Has he been doing well Sparrow?" The elderly man asked softly, regarding the child like he would his own, patting her head as she pointed to the room she had just been in.

"Hmm," the young girl pondered for a moment, "It seems as though he has a distinct personality disorder. Probably an antisocial, he has a knack for getting picked on. He doesn't have the healthiest diet, and is underweight. And he seems to be on the verge of becoming an insomniac, that's if he isn't one already. Currently he's sleeping." She said as she wrapped up the 'how is he doing' part of this conversation. She wouldn't lie and say 'he's just great Mr. Whammy!' when it was clear that he wasn't.

"Yes, that's normal considering." He didn't specify, because he didn't have to. She knew that that sentence would have went something like 'yes, that's normal considering he just got his family ripped away from him in a single night.'

That thought made her queasy, L and her were a lot alike. She knew what he needed, and he was what she needed. Someone too look out for.

oOo

I sat up as I let the flashback run its course, knowing that if I fought it I'd just dream about it later, so there was no point really in fighting it in the first place. A soft 'meow' was heard just outside the door, making my head shoot up. Much like in the flashback, I nearly gave myself whiplash.

The meow came again and again, and for once, since I had been institutionalized, I thought I had finally lost it. Only to turn around and mutter, "Crazy people don't think they're crazy, and up until this point that particular thought hadn't crossed my mind. So, therefore, I must be gaining my sanity back… Took it's damn time."

I swung my legs off of the bed, which I hadn't remembered falling asleep on, and rose to my feet. Steadying myself by throwing my arms out to my side in a comical fashion, and proceeded to wait for the room to stop spinning.

Once this task was accomplished I walked to the door and opened it. Slightly surprised it gave way to my pull, I looked around the hall, a meow causing me to look straight down.

A small black kitten with a red bow around its neck sat in a box at the door. Complete with a litter box, scoop, litter, and food next to it in a neat pile. A note on the box read simply.

_To: Sparrow_

_This kitten is a birthday present/test of sorts. Seeing as how you are twenty today it seemed fit to give you a companion. Food shall be provided when you run out, and do not fret my contact will not cease._

_Birthday regards from Lollipop_

My mouth dropped open in shock. One word falling from my lips, "Lollipop." I took in a breath before looking at the kitten with a new glint in my eyes. It rested somewhere between happiness, sadness, and hope.

"Welcome home little one." I said smiling at the kitten, lifting the box, pushing in the things with my foot and closing the door. Today was the best birthday I'd had in nearly three years.

**oOo**

**So, Review? I was quite sad no one reviewed the first chapter when I wrote this. And I request at least one review before next week if you wish for me to proceed.**


	3. Chapter 3

My foot dangled off of the bed, eyes closed as I stroked Midnight gently. His purring was rocking me to sleep rather quickly, but I didn't want to sleep yet. I was waiting for the dark figure, the shadow that told me that my trusty companion and I weren't alone.

I heard a quiet knock and looked up. It was most likely the nurse trying to dope me up again. I hated the medications I had been prescribed. They took away the last shreds of sanity I had and took away my will, but I dealt with it because I knew, no matter how many times I cursed his name, L had his reasons.

I was in here for a reason, and I couldn't forget that.

My eyes closed as I remembered taking L out with Jay for the first time for ice cream. He was just turning twelve and he wanted nothing more than to build his own sugary ice cream creation, something that had given me hope that maybe, just maybe he'd end up normal.

When had things changed for him?

He had been eating (against his will but he was eating normal food), sleeping. Acting like a boy his age for once but somewhere. During one of the black holes in my memories everything had changed.

My heart jolted and my body convulsed violently causing my eyes to open. I had forgot the technical name for it but my body seemed to convinced that I was dying and was attempting to jolt me back to life.

My eyes darted to the chair on the wall opposite my bed. A familiar face looked back at me through half-moon spectacles. His kind eyes and hair of the purest white, I knew in that moment that, for that moment, everything was going to be okay. Mr. Whammy was here to protect me, and my inner child was screaming at me to fall into his arms and just let all the built of emotions fall off of my being.

He smiled and stroked Midnight's head causing the little black cat to push into the elderly man's hand for me attention. Something that I was tempted to do but to the effect of him telling me he was proud and me soaking up all the attention.

I smiled, making sure that I didn't freak out as I waited for him to make the first move. Much like chess I was going to have to figure out Mr. Whammy's game.

"Still cautious little Sparrow?"

I crossed my arms over my chest like a stubborn child. "I'm not little. These drugs have stunted my growth."

He chuckled and the sound was soothing. I had missed Mr. Whammy very much. I knew he was the one standing there the whole time. I knew he was keeping me close, but I hadn't had any physical contact with anyone but nurses and doctors, and both categories of people weren't exactly appealing to have around.

"Well then, I will be the first to tell you that you no longer need the medications to function properly, but there does seem to be a problem with a certain class mate of yours."

My head tilted to the side, I voiced my first logical though. "Is it B?"

Whammy looked solemn for a moment before shaking his head slowly. "B is no longer a threat to anyone."

I sat on the edge of my seat at this. My heart was pounding violently in my chest. That meant something had happened while I was in here. B was either dead or he had defeated L. Out of both of these options I assumed death because if I knew Lollipop then he hadn't let B win. And no matter how much I loved them both, and no matter how much I didn't want to believe that B was dead, logic tended to point my mind in the other direction.

"Is he..." my voice had broke a bit, and I felt my eyes starting to burn.

Whammy moved to my side and gently took me into his arms, rocking me like a child. He gently stroked my hair in a way that only a father could and waited for me to calm before continuing.

"B isn't dead and neither is L. They did have a confrontation, and B didn't fair well in the end. We both know that be wouldn't let L win, he just couldn't. So when L got close B tried to take his own life, but L anticipated this and saved B from himself."

I nodded, the question of how on the tip of my tongue, but I didn't ask for the sake of saving myself from the nightmares. I didn't want to make things worse by listening to all the gory details.

With a soft sigh he pulled a white envelope from his jacket placing it on the bed.

"When you're ready," he said softly kissing the top of my head, "read the letter. It's from L but don't worry. It's not to urgent."

I nodded and curled up on the bed. Letting what happened sink in. I had missed the moment that both B and L needed me most in. I felt like a failure. I felt like I did when Jay...

My thoughts trailed off. I couldn't think Jay like that. Just like I couldn't blame L for putting me here.

I closed my eyes trying to dream a better dream. The soft purring of Midnight slowly lulling me to sleep. The ivory envelope clutched firmly in my grasp.


End file.
